4/5/25

There's a lot of marks and burns and rehealed skin on stuff like my legs and arms and such that I think might affect my appearance but ultimately are a part of who I am. Marks from accidents and stuff I used to do and enjoy and are now permanently a part of me. Makes me feel like Tow Mater every time I think this but it also makes me think about who I even am in present day. What even is the present day. Probably just a side effect of growing up and needing to dedicate most of my time to work or some sort of professional life

4/1/25

I've been putting so much time into school and rotting in bed that I haven't really put much work into myself. And now graduation is coming up and I'm going to be attending the ceremony under a name that doesn't fit me, but I feel like I haven't made enough progress to warrant a name change without it making sense to others or possibly damaging some relations. It makes me wonder if I'm really doing any of this for myself. Sure I can get the text on the piece of paper changed later but I'm just worried I'm going to be blocking out one of the most important days of my life because of this. How the hell am I even sure anything I'm doing is right for me anyways

Anyways happy birthday Kasane Teto !!

3/30/25

A goodwil that I bought a $15 shelf ps1 from five years ago had one behind the counter for $60 yesterday no controller or games even. At least they had a cool sweater for kinda cheap

3/14/25

Why is applying for housing rentals so difficult they want 7 billion sensitive documents like c'mon you're already charging me a fortune can you at least be a smidge understanding if I don't have one pdf from a year ago. And this is if they even respond

3/3/25

This video is so cool u shld go watch it

3/1/25

Fuck you the depressing posts are in comic sans now

2/24/25

My last few posts have been kinda depressing so here's a better one. Getting high and working on my car in the freezing barn has been a passtime for a while now and it's almost complete.

There's a lot of little parts I could talk about but here's the current mockup for the center console. The analog clock is replacing a broken digital one and I think it fills the circle hole better. The font even matches the shift knob. I still need some wire terminals for the radio but it takes CDs and MDs and mechanically flips down it's goofy but kinda sick.

The silver paint looks a li'l cheezy with the black interior but I think it works well enough. This stuff is also brittle as hell after 40 years. You can barely adjust the vent without all the plastic exploding

2/21/25

I like to think that I can kinda see very specific patterns when it comes to things like graphic design or photographic framing. Kinda like the rule of thirds or golden ratio but something incalculable. If I do things right everything kinda just snaps into place. I think it could be like the "picture an apple" aphantasia thing where not everyone can see it. idk.

2/8/25

deliberating if I wana live as something I love but a lot of people are going to despise and make my life systematically harder to live and be in constant reminder of or if I want to live as something that's not me that'll make life easier to breeze through even though my memories will turn to dust and life will pass me by as if I'm not even here. Because I won't be