deliberating if I wana live as something I love but a lot of people are going to despise and make my life systematically harder to live and be in constant reminder of or if I want to live as something that's not me that'll make life easier to breeze through even though my memories will turn to dust and life will pass me by as if I'm not even here. Because I won't be
2/1/25
On the way back from a short trip with some friends in an old van driving down the blizzarding weather taking turns reading a heartfelt critique adachi yaoi from my cracked phone screen where we each take a part like a play. OH and the driver played the junes theme on kazoo
The more and more media I watch from throughout time about the hateful systems in place the more and more I wonder if there's actually anything we can do about it. This is why All Star Smash Mouth is part of my ideology. In this essay i will-
1/18/25
Growing up in a lil town, one of the first things I’d do with my friends after getting out of high school was exploring abandoned places: Dams. Military bases. Poor houses. Mining equipment. Decaying remnants of the past. Left abandoned because it wasn’t turning a profit, or because it was no longer needed, or because most people left when the mining boom was out.
There’s barely two cops and you went to high school with one so you have a 50% chance of getting out of a ticket. Most of the time though the backroads were fair game. Fast as you like granted you don’t hit a pothole. Some of them you memorize the locations of. You become part of the area. In the woods. In the sunsets on the lake. In the Spring breeze of the melting snow
A different church damn near every block. A monument to a community that just isn't there anymore. What’s left is the party store. The ma & pop bakeries. Volunteer groups. City winter events. The trail network, running through the highway spine like a nervous system. People moving. Talking. Having fun. Living life.
There’s community everywhere. I’ll be moving to a much denser population area soon, and am excited for all new people I might meet. But there’s hundreds of places like this everywhere. Places that at least a few people exist, and continue to live and grow. I will only ever truly know experiences from what I’ve experienced, but I’m glad there’s humans everywhere going through things just as unique, and that makes me feel reassured.
1/2/25
Happy New Year !!!!
I've been getting a lot of work done over break. Might help a friend pull his engine that sheared a conrod. Saw the RadioTVSolutions new years stream live with friends. On a whim did shrooms and watched The Holy Mountain (go watch that btw.) Finished upholstery on the mazda seats, and found a snake skeleton in the car while taking the cabin apart.
♥ My Game of my year is Gurumin. It's extremely 2004 and while kinda short has rlly fun 3d platforming and ost (the bomber girl track goes ungodly hard)
♥ My Movie of my year is The Animatrix. It's a short film collection of insanely good stories portrayed within the matrix universe each with unique artstyles
♥ There's too many good ones to pick a Song of the year so go check out my playlist and shoutout to kasane teto
12/27/24
Remembered that BallisticNG existed the other day and now have been playing it nonstop. It replicates the wipeout physics rlly well and is in HD with a bajillion customizability options
There's a ton of mod support too from chicago I-94 to a skull with laser eyes to a honda accord to gran turismo tracks. Just look at how cool this looks ˅
Born a decate late to be able to buy salvia and four-loko from the gas station. Born at just the right to time to remember buying rat poison from 24/7 walmart
11/22/24
anxiety, defeat, ache, confusion, dejection, exhaustion. Finals week soon augughoghhhgh gonna drink a thc soda and watch the animatrix and maybe bake some bread
11/3/24
Finished painting the rx7 a few weeks back. Made some final touchups on putting the body back together and took it for a test drive. The fuel system could use a l'il cleaning but other than that it runs like a beast (a <100 hp beast)
Hey you know a song that makes you cry every time you hear it? For me one of those is this:
It's so endearing and it uses callbacks from songs I used to listen to growing up aaaaahhh !!!!! After ur done listening to it go listen to a bunch of stuff by mekaloton I've been listening to like alllllll of their stuff recently
11/2/24
Went bar hopping with some friends for Halloween. I put together a haggy witch fit and one of my friends went as Harry Du Bois. The last bar we went to had "quarter beer night" and I won at pool while barely being able to walk a straight line
(I also made a big hat check this out:)
When we got back to the apt we caught just enough of the rtvs nosferatu night stream to be confused by it, and played some ps2 night stage drifting games, and watched Kill Bill part I, and also played sex trivia at the arcade
10/29/24
Look at this cool men-tan fanart vaquerosito_ made !!!
I'm obsessing over this vae even did the lil hair swoop and got the eye colors awweawuauwauaaawaa look at the eyeliner !! it's so good
Click the image for higher rez !!!
10/26/24
The Halloween car meet this year was kinda lame. Only like 10 people showed up and only one other person dressed their car up. Insane downgrade from last year where there was like 30 cars all with a costume. Check out my spikes though. Inspired by either Carmaggeddon or Death Race 2000 depending on it you're 30 or 50 years old. Over the past like 4 months or so I've been procrastinating a lot of stuff but I did watch some more films. None of these I deemed really good enough to add to the recc. page but I thought I'd mention their existences anyway. They're all kinda funky in their own right:
Party 7
The title sequence is animated by the same person that made Aeon Flux, and directed by someone that worked on the screenplay for Redline. I like the concept of gradually more people meeting in a hotel room, ensuing hijinx, but a lot of the jokes are kinda boring
Mechanical Violator Hakaider
Found while looking at the wikipedia article for the yamaha Vmax. Lots of bike shots. Unique designs and the stop motion parts are pretty cool. Pretty basic antiauthoritarianism story but with an antihero protag
House (1977)
Funky old japanese horror movie about a group of friends going to spend some time at an aunt's house. The lighting and special effects give it a very charming vibe
Bad Taste
Made by the same person that directed all the Lord of the Rings movies. It's a Rambo-style movie about some aliens that have come to earth to collect humans as food for their galactic fast food chain
Wicked City
Studio Madhouse. The animation is beautiful but the plot is of a cheezy 80s cop B movie. Because this is a cheezy 80s cop B movie. Someone I know described this as "penis monsters" I don't remember any of the plot
Thomas and the Magic Railroad
Some of the Diesel scenes unironically have the pacing of a nightmare. The plot is about a man and his stoner cousin running out of their "magic gold dust" and a dude that really wants to fuck a train
Inland Empire
Shot on a dvcam, basic digital effects and insane shots and pacing. Reminds me a lot of perfect blue but if I shot it in high school and it making even less sense. I think if David tried to make another movie they wouldn't let him
10/12/24
Ok a sorta lot has been going on. Halloween costume planned. Most of my car painted. In general parents being parents. Phone calls from companies I don't want and no phone calls from companies I do want
Onto the interesting stuff tho:
- saw the northern lights again
- went to a rally
- took these cool photos with the d1x while trying to get it to meter properly
that's about it really in my between time i'm just trying to keep alive
10/9/24
one million views !!! To commemorate I've created a desktop buddy of men-tan you can download and have walk around your computer. You need java and it's just as simple as running the Shimeji-ee.jar file in the folder She can be downloaded from here. Do let me know if you encounter any errors ! Working on minor code tweaks and additional actions
10/2/24
Played a Gran Turismo 4 drinking game last weekend. License tests, for each failiure you have to take a shot, after each attempt you pass the controller to the next person whether you win or lose, and if you get silver everyone else has to take a shot. It took us two full rotations amongst three of us to clear A-5, and we only got up to around halfway through the A license before we were unable to continue. At least we got the B license though
9/15/24
ik it's like all I've been thinking about recently but time is passing so fast. Like it's been 6 years since the jschlatt minecraft video. It's crazy how much has changed. It's crazy how much I've changed. Anyway I've been working on the rx7 more. I took 18 credits all last year so I could take twelve now and actually have free time, been working on the bodywork, not super hard to do but it's a lot of tedious sanding. Been listening to the rlly old Sleep Deprived Podcast episodes as entertainment during it. Hopefully I can finish the body before winter hits but it's raining rn so I'm taking a break
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